Pathological demand avoidance treatment1/17/2024 Since I have been diagnosed I have to a great degree stopped masking … Trying to mask for the world all the time is a quick track to burning out and being miserable for me – Tony (PDA by PDAers pg 76-77) Finding your tribeĬonnecting with others who understand can be reassuring and liberating … I found early on that I was extremely good at interpreting what people thought of me and at playing exactly to that expectation. Masking was a way of flying under the radar, avoiding unwanted scrutiny or attention. I am learning to be myself now, at 33 – Laura (PDA by PDAers pg 78) Myself was way too much for people, too strange, too intense, too bubbly, too deep, too all over the place, just too much. I suppose masking is the way many of us survive socially, especially as many of us were brought up in families who had little or no knowledge of autism, much less PDA, so we had to find ways to cope – Riko (PDA by PDAers pg 84) Masking or social ‘mimicry’ – hiding PDA traits and trying to act in ways that seem more ‘normal’ or ‘socially acceptable’ – can be an intentional or innate ‘coping mechanism’ for many PDAers, though this can take its toll … Learn to love yourself and you can soar to great heights – SallyĪnd you can adjust your expectations of yourself a little …Įvery single thing I do involves battling demand avoidance and I can only do so much … awareness of my limitations has given me the wisdom and confidence to set personal goals that I can keep – Sally Understanding masking You are a squiggle-shaped peg that is unique and amazing. If I could say one thing to my younger self it would be: “your struggles are real and you are worth loads. Once you understand the possible source of some of your challenges, self-acceptance and self-care can follow … Read, listen and be open to new information – Riko Self-acceptance Learn as much as possible about PDA and other conditions. If you don’t have self-awareness how can you modify or avoid things that cause anxiety? – Julia Recognising that some of the challenges you face (as well as some of your strengths) may be explained by PDA is an important starting point …įor me self-awareness is the key. The PDA Society video Demand Avoidance of the PDA kind gives some examples from children, young people and adults. Some who are new to PDA are shocked to find out that things they’ve always struggled with are actually demands, like returning books to the library or saying “thank you” to people – Riko Recognising avoidanceĪvoidance processes are also many and varied – distraction, excusing yourself, incapacitating yourself, role play and fantasy, procrastination, negotiation, controlling, masking … demand avoidance is about much more than just saying ‘no’. Demands take many forms – from the more obvious direct instructions to suggestions and expectations, internal or self-imposed demands such as hunger/thirst or perfectionism, aspects of daily life including washing/dressing, social niceties like saying thank you … the list goes on. The first step may be recognising what constitutes ‘a demand’. The information has also been captured in this infographic, kindly created by Sally Cat (a higher resolution version is available here) Therapy, counselling, mindfulness & meditation.Informing others & asking for accommodations.Managing, reducing & disguising demands.The suggestions are grouped under the following headings: These suggestions for self-help, coping strategies and therapies were assembled from a variety of first-hand accounts shared by adults, diagnosed or self-identifying as having a PDA profile (PDAers being their preferred term of reference), in books, blogs and on social media and from the other information for adults on the PDA Society website.Ī PDF version of this resource is also available to download here. Self-help, coping strategies and therapies for adult PDAers
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